Funeral Words: My Dad

My dad wrote me this letter when I was in a treatment center in 2009. My life has never been easy. I have been so lost and disconnected and I made some not so great choices in the past, but my dad has always believed in me and seen me as beloved. 

 “Hey Sweetie. OK, here’s the deal. At some point you are going to have to believe. I don’t know how yet- but you have to believe God made you who you are for a reason. You are special and unique- and there is a wonderful life out there for you. That’s where faith comes in. You cant see it- but you believe its out there waiting for you. I know it is, you are too wonderful a person for that not to be true. You are God’s beloved- He loves you and believes you are special. And that you can accomplish amazing things as He helps you. I believe it too! I am praying you do too very soon. Love, Dad.”

Now I want to read a letter that I wrote to my dad when we transferred him to hospice:

Dad I want to say thank you. Thank you for being a truly wonderful father. For being my best friend through life. For showing me how to love and how to be selfless in the world. For never giving up on me and doing your best to find me the help I needed. I am not angry with you. I know that you did your best and that there were ways you truly did not know how to help me or repair our family. There has been such tragedy and pain in our family and you have always showed grace and love to everyone. I am devastated that you have to leave this world so soon. I truly thought you would wake up and we would have more time. My heart is broken. I have always been daddy’s girl and you spoiled me even as an adult. I love you so much, dad. I don’t know how I am going to be here without you but I know that it’s selfish to keep you here. Christopher is waiting for you. I know you are ready to be with God and at the same time you have always been with God. May you feel no more pain and heartbreak. May you be healed and restored in life after death. You will always be my dad and I will always carry you in my heart and listen for your words. I don’t want to let you go but I know that’s what you would want and that you are ready. I will make you proud, dad. I promise. I love you so very much. I believe now, dad. And I know that I am beloved. I’m sorry it took me so long.